A Cup of Self-Pity to Start the Day

I think I finally understand the addiction.  Non-runners like to ask "why running?" Hell, even runners ask why.  Why do we do it?  What is it about running that makes us crazy?  That creates a bond between perfect strangers and a sense of community?  Why we LOVE to write about our experiences?  Why we love to read other's experiences?  You don't see yogis or tennis players or cyclists putting out race reports or blogs nearly as much as runners .. (or maybe they do and I just don't know it).  It's because it's hard.  There's nothing else that creates the "I want to die but I'm gonna go one more mile" feeling.  I sit here injured, but not so badly injured that I can't do anything else.  I can go to yoga classes, swim, cycle, weights.  But I put my shoes on and pound the pavement for 10 minutes and it sucks the entire time and it's ALL I WANT TO DO.  I haven't been able to run in over a month so I've lost tons of endurance - which means I can't breath.  And I'm feeling great in almost every other thing I do, but that pillar of confidence buckles underneath me after a measly 1/2 mile or so.  And as soon as that happens all the days of feeling strong are wiped clean and I feel like a loser again.  I wasn't even that great of a runner to begin with.  But all I want to do is run.  Because it sucks.  Because it's hard.  And if you do something that's hard without quitting, the feeling of accomplishment that follows is unparalleled.

I should also mention that I have no food in my pantry, I have no health insurance, can't afford to pay my taxes from 2008, and should be out there "pounding the pavement" to build my business, not worrying about whether or not I can run.  Yet here I sit, writing this blog .. about running.